My Momma

With all the hype about the "War on Women" I've thought a lot about what it means to be a momma, as well as what it means to have a career vs. being a stay at home mom. I have always known that I wanted to have a career...to have something outside of the home where I could feel professional success. I think that the root of this comes from my own mom, who held a wonderful job where she was overwhelmingly successful. Most importantly though, she was even more successful at being a mom...all at the same time.

Being a mom is the most fulfilling, difficult, important role you could ever imagine having; however, I don't see it as a job. I see it as an amazing blessing. So many women struggle to conceive and carry children, and they want nothing more than to share their love and life with a little bundle of joy. My mom never made my sister or I feel like her role as our mom was a "job"; in fact, she did everything with such grace and ease I had no idea the difficulties and stresses she was probably experiencing each day. Additionally, she financially contributed to our family throughout my childhood with her job as a special needs teacher. I could write a novel on the importance of this "profession" (if you can even call it that, I like to think its a calling from God) to my sister and my development as people. Our hearts and minds were molded by her kindness and absolute love for those who need it the most. 

Although I don't receive spiritual or emotional strength and growth from my job, I do receive something intangible that is extremely powerful. Am I positive I will always feel this way? No, you can never be, but I know that having my own success in the world and then being able to channel that success into financial stability for my little family is incredibly rewarding. Don't get me wrong--its not as rewarding as the hug from Griff last night after he opened his little Beta fish, or the joy and pride I felt when at the dinner table last night Griff explained the definition of "inference"--o, and by the way, it was spot on and he used it appropriately--but it is a integral part of me finding my own worth. My mom wasn't dependent on my dad--for praise, for money, for anything but love and mutual affection. In contrast, my dad saw my mom as an amazingly successful mother who in addition carried her own success at work. I love that when Nick looks at me he is proud of my professional success. I like that he says "we're just inching towards me becoming a 'stay at home dad'..." Obviously, his constant praise regarding my role as a mom in Griff's life is much more important, and I'm not at all trying to draw parallels or exclusivity between the 2, but I do feel strongly in my choice to be a "working" mom.

For Griff, and for all the future red-headed Wolds we'll have, I feel that for girls, I will teach them dedication, hard work, and independence. For boys, they will see their mom as an independent woman who doesn't rely on anyone for her own self-worth, and hopefully that will translate into their search for a mate down the line.

Was our house always clean growing up? Nope. Did we sometimes have pasta twice in week because it was easy? sure (and Meg and I loved it). Did Mom or Dad miss ANYTHING at our school or sporting events? No. Did Meg and I feel like we were missing something because Mom worked? No--in hard contrast, we felt like we gained so much more. To this day, is my mom still my best friend? YES, without a doubt.

Ultimately, I have come to this conclusion. Being a good mom doesn't mean you have homemade bread on the table every night or that your house is meticulous. It means that above all else you put your child first. That you live your life everyday as a ongoing depiction of what you want your child to absorb and learn and hopefully continue someday. For me, I want my children to view me as an independent strong woman who can balance being a mom but also being a career woman because seeing my mom do this has been a building block of who I am today.

Thanks Mom:)